| Sweet Dreams! By Sharon Holtz Chapter Twenty |
Dreamily, Catherine then said, "Well, we haven't long to wait..."
And then she excitedly asked, "How is our chamber coming?"
Nodding assuredly, Vincent relayed, "It is going well."
Vincent then added, "We will have plenty of help to ready our chamber. Both
Peter and Mouse should be arriving shortly to help out, and Father Kanin and
Ronald are already there. I believe the task should be completed in just a few
days..."
Vincent then informatively said, "...we have come up with a viable plan of
adding our bedchamber into the two alcoves, which can be combined into one
larger one."
Being careful, not to mention anything about adding a little kitchenette too,
Vincent found
it difficult to conceal his excitement about this surprise for Catherine.
So hiding his smile, Vincent then sweetly kissed her hair, before releasing her
from his embrace. He then walked over to her current bedroom supporting wall
to inform her, "We will need to brace this wall on both sides, and then make the
threshold about here. And if you like this idea, we can then transform your
current bedchamber area here, into our main parlor."
Catherine smiled with approval, saying yes, she loved that idea. She then
happily said, "It sounds so perfect Vincent...it would have been so difficult to
move out of Anna's old chamber. It seems right for us to be here."
Catherine contentedly looked around at the cozy home Vincent had readied for
her, and added, "All the wonderful alcoves you built here..."
Catherine then smiled as she looked directly at him and decadently confessed,
"...I never felt like this was exclusively my chamber...I always felt as if it was
ours."
Vincent then admitted, "I suppose I did as well..."
Vincent then dreamily shared, "...and in designing the reading alcove, and the
sitting room alcove...I imagined you and I sitting there, growing older together..."
Catherine pleasingly said, "I love you thought of this chamber as already ours
too..."
Catherine then surmised, "...and with a new bedchamber added...well that will
be special and new to us both."
With a smile in his eyes, Vincent stated, "Yes..."
Vincent then regretfully told her, "And because of these renovations we are
speaking of...my time right now is limited...shall we go over those details for our
ceremony?"
Softly Catherine compliantly said, "Of course Vincent.....come into the reading
room......we can have our tea there. It is already steeping."
As they walked hand in hand together to the little alcove, Vincent asked how
she slept last night, and as a smile crossed Catherine's face, she told him she
slept well, and had some very detailed and vivid dreams, saying, "I don't know
if it was because of the children's play last night, and then our talk of having
children, but this one dream..."
Catherine started slowly, as her clouded thoughts materialized, and little by little
the details became more clear, so she could relay them to him.
Softly Catherine spoke, and began, "We lived in a grand Castle, on the edge of a
hillside, overlooking an ocean, and you...you were the King, and I of course
was your Queen, and it seemed as if we were in a spacious Ballroom or
something. And let's see, I was sitting in a throne like chair, laughing and crying
all at the same time, as I watched the sweet, sweet sight of you taking turns
teaching our many children how to waltz. Some of the children were of your
likeness, and some were of mine..."
Introspectively, Vincent imagined such a scene, and as his thoughts took a
realistic tone, he whispered, "Many, many children...hmmm, sadly a brace that
can, nor should ever be."
Stopping in her tracks, Catherine with surprise, asked, "What did you just say?"
With his eyes lowered, he replied, "The fact you had such a dream, indicates to
me, you are hoping beyond hope of having a biological family."
To which Catherine said, "As I said before Vincent, only if it is to be our fate. I
mean can't you at least imagine such a sweet dream?"
Helplessly, Vincent looked skyward, and as he tightly closed his eyes, he tried to
control his voice, as he resignedly inquired, "Don't you think I have dreamt
about reading to a little girl as I held her upon my lap, a beautiful little girl who
looks like you Catherine?"
Turning to look back at a now...very, very sorry Catherine, he then asked,
"Don't you
think I dream of holding a child of my own, that is born from your flesh?"
As Vincent walked to the threshold, he then revealed, "This fate I have had to
endure, I
wish on no one...perhaps I should have vocalized by thoughts when you earlier
mentioned that if having a child was to be our fate, we would give them a happy
life, but I have come to realize my desires are selfish, and must be denied. This
is the only decision I know I can live with. Now Catherine, you must decide for
yourself what you can live with..."
Vincent then sadly walked through the postern, and into the tunnels, unsure of
where his destination was, but only knew he must be alone.
As Catherine stood in a state of shock, slowly questioning what should she do.
Catherine's first impulse was to run after him, however as the seriousness of this
issue set in, she realized Vincent was right.
Catherine had to decide what she could live with, just as Vincent had stated he
had.
Even though Catherine thought she already had...obviously there were still
issues she needed to resolve.
Catherine knew she did not want to live in a marriage of constant want and
anticipation, hoping Vincent might one day change his mind, only to grow
resentful he had not.
That would be cruel, and unfair, for them both.
Now Catherine stood deciding she too needed to get away to think.
So as Catherine walked toward her threshold, and with a slow look around at
her lovely chamber home...the tears began to flow as she walked through the
tunnels of her new world, to go back to her old.
And because Catherine didn't want to alert Jennifer of her and Vincent's
conflicts, she chose not to go back to her old apartment, but decided instead to
go back to her families vacated home.
Since Catherine's Dad's death, she still had not been able to deal with putting it
on the market. So it was there, she went to be alone.
Unlocking the front door, Catherine walked in, only to be saddened further by
the sight of the draping of white cloths on all the now unused furnishings.
Peaking into her Dad's study, she looked around at all the things that were still
in place, just as he had left it before he had his fatal stroke.
Slowly Catherine walked in, and then stood for a moment behind his desk,
before sitting down into the big leather chair.
Looking down at her Dad's desktop, she smiled at the assortment of
photographs he had chosen to surround his work space.
There was a picture of her at the age of around 5 or 6, smiling widely, to
proudly display her front toothless state, a portrait of Grandma and Grandpa
Chandler, a photo of her Dad with her beautiful Mom taken on a beach looking
so happy, and so in love, and lastly, a family studio portrait of her parents
holding her, when she was an infant.
Picking up the formal portrait to closer inspect her parents faces, Catherine
could see the happiness in their eyes as they looked at one another as they
together cradled her.
Embracing the picture to her heart, Catherine realized having a child was more
important to her than she knew. What greater gift could there be, than to give
Vincent a child she knew he longed for? And it pained her, he was willing to
sacrifice his dream of having a child together...
But then realizing, Vincent wasn't totally denying their dream of being parents,
but rather replacing one dream with another. A dream of building a life with
love, and sharing their love with lost children who needed them.
And so as Catherine looked back at the portrait once more, she could see the
love between her parents as they looked at each other, she certainly was there in
the portrait too, but it wasn't like she completed them, she was only there by the
grace of God, to share in their love.
And so Catherine was able to reconcile, that Vincent really only wanted from
her, what he, himself was offering.
Yes...Vincent wanted nothing more than her heart full of love...and realized
what a generous gift she was actually giving him after all.
So upon putting the picture back into its place, Catherine decided at that
moment to return home to Vincent, knowing she could live a happy life side by
side with him, despite the sacrifices, which suddenly, didn't seem like sacrifices
after all.
To be continued
Chapter Twenty-one
And then she excitedly asked, "How is our chamber coming?"
Nodding assuredly, Vincent relayed, "It is going well."
Vincent then added, "We will have plenty of help to ready our chamber. Both
Peter and Mouse should be arriving shortly to help out, and Father Kanin and
Ronald are already there. I believe the task should be completed in just a few
days..."
Vincent then informatively said, "...we have come up with a viable plan of
adding our bedchamber into the two alcoves, which can be combined into one
larger one."
Being careful, not to mention anything about adding a little kitchenette too,
Vincent found
it difficult to conceal his excitement about this surprise for Catherine.
So hiding his smile, Vincent then sweetly kissed her hair, before releasing her
from his embrace. He then walked over to her current bedroom supporting wall
to inform her, "We will need to brace this wall on both sides, and then make the
threshold about here. And if you like this idea, we can then transform your
current bedchamber area here, into our main parlor."
Catherine smiled with approval, saying yes, she loved that idea. She then
happily said, "It sounds so perfect Vincent...it would have been so difficult to
move out of Anna's old chamber. It seems right for us to be here."
Catherine contentedly looked around at the cozy home Vincent had readied for
her, and added, "All the wonderful alcoves you built here..."
Catherine then smiled as she looked directly at him and decadently confessed,
"...I never felt like this was exclusively my chamber...I always felt as if it was
ours."
Vincent then admitted, "I suppose I did as well..."
Vincent then dreamily shared, "...and in designing the reading alcove, and the
sitting room alcove...I imagined you and I sitting there, growing older together..."
Catherine pleasingly said, "I love you thought of this chamber as already ours
too..."
Catherine then surmised, "...and with a new bedchamber added...well that will
be special and new to us both."
With a smile in his eyes, Vincent stated, "Yes..."
Vincent then regretfully told her, "And because of these renovations we are
speaking of...my time right now is limited...shall we go over those details for our
ceremony?"
Softly Catherine compliantly said, "Of course Vincent.....come into the reading
room......we can have our tea there. It is already steeping."
As they walked hand in hand together to the little alcove, Vincent asked how
she slept last night, and as a smile crossed Catherine's face, she told him she
slept well, and had some very detailed and vivid dreams, saying, "I don't know
if it was because of the children's play last night, and then our talk of having
children, but this one dream..."
Catherine started slowly, as her clouded thoughts materialized, and little by little
the details became more clear, so she could relay them to him.
Softly Catherine spoke, and began, "We lived in a grand Castle, on the edge of a
hillside, overlooking an ocean, and you...you were the King, and I of course
was your Queen, and it seemed as if we were in a spacious Ballroom or
something. And let's see, I was sitting in a throne like chair, laughing and crying
all at the same time, as I watched the sweet, sweet sight of you taking turns
teaching our many children how to waltz. Some of the children were of your
likeness, and some were of mine..."
Introspectively, Vincent imagined such a scene, and as his thoughts took a
realistic tone, he whispered, "Many, many children...hmmm, sadly a brace that
can, nor should ever be."
Stopping in her tracks, Catherine with surprise, asked, "What did you just say?"
With his eyes lowered, he replied, "The fact you had such a dream, indicates to
me, you are hoping beyond hope of having a biological family."
To which Catherine said, "As I said before Vincent, only if it is to be our fate. I
mean can't you at least imagine such a sweet dream?"
Helplessly, Vincent looked skyward, and as he tightly closed his eyes, he tried to
control his voice, as he resignedly inquired, "Don't you think I have dreamt
about reading to a little girl as I held her upon my lap, a beautiful little girl who
looks like you Catherine?"
Turning to look back at a now...very, very sorry Catherine, he then asked,
"Don't you
think I dream of holding a child of my own, that is born from your flesh?"
As Vincent walked to the threshold, he then revealed, "This fate I have had to
endure, I
wish on no one...perhaps I should have vocalized by thoughts when you earlier
mentioned that if having a child was to be our fate, we would give them a happy
life, but I have come to realize my desires are selfish, and must be denied. This
is the only decision I know I can live with. Now Catherine, you must decide for
yourself what you can live with..."
Vincent then sadly walked through the postern, and into the tunnels, unsure of
where his destination was, but only knew he must be alone.
As Catherine stood in a state of shock, slowly questioning what should she do.
Catherine's first impulse was to run after him, however as the seriousness of this
issue set in, she realized Vincent was right.
Catherine had to decide what she could live with, just as Vincent had stated he
had.
Even though Catherine thought she already had...obviously there were still
issues she needed to resolve.
Catherine knew she did not want to live in a marriage of constant want and
anticipation, hoping Vincent might one day change his mind, only to grow
resentful he had not.
That would be cruel, and unfair, for them both.
Now Catherine stood deciding she too needed to get away to think.
So as Catherine walked toward her threshold, and with a slow look around at
her lovely chamber home...the tears began to flow as she walked through the
tunnels of her new world, to go back to her old.
And because Catherine didn't want to alert Jennifer of her and Vincent's
conflicts, she chose not to go back to her old apartment, but decided instead to
go back to her families vacated home.
Since Catherine's Dad's death, she still had not been able to deal with putting it
on the market. So it was there, she went to be alone.
Unlocking the front door, Catherine walked in, only to be saddened further by
the sight of the draping of white cloths on all the now unused furnishings.
Peaking into her Dad's study, she looked around at all the things that were still
in place, just as he had left it before he had his fatal stroke.
Slowly Catherine walked in, and then stood for a moment behind his desk,
before sitting down into the big leather chair.
Looking down at her Dad's desktop, she smiled at the assortment of
photographs he had chosen to surround his work space.
There was a picture of her at the age of around 5 or 6, smiling widely, to
proudly display her front toothless state, a portrait of Grandma and Grandpa
Chandler, a photo of her Dad with her beautiful Mom taken on a beach looking
so happy, and so in love, and lastly, a family studio portrait of her parents
holding her, when she was an infant.
Picking up the formal portrait to closer inspect her parents faces, Catherine
could see the happiness in their eyes as they looked at one another as they
together cradled her.
Embracing the picture to her heart, Catherine realized having a child was more
important to her than she knew. What greater gift could there be, than to give
Vincent a child she knew he longed for? And it pained her, he was willing to
sacrifice his dream of having a child together...
But then realizing, Vincent wasn't totally denying their dream of being parents,
but rather replacing one dream with another. A dream of building a life with
love, and sharing their love with lost children who needed them.
And so as Catherine looked back at the portrait once more, she could see the
love between her parents as they looked at each other, she certainly was there in
the portrait too, but it wasn't like she completed them, she was only there by the
grace of God, to share in their love.
And so Catherine was able to reconcile, that Vincent really only wanted from
her, what he, himself was offering.
Yes...Vincent wanted nothing more than her heart full of love...and realized
what a generous gift she was actually giving him after all.
So upon putting the picture back into its place, Catherine decided at that
moment to return home to Vincent, knowing she could live a happy life side by
side with him, despite the sacrifices, which suddenly, didn't seem like sacrifices
after all.
To be continued
Chapter Twenty-one
