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| Shakespeare knew everything...everything! By Lynn Aoki and Sharon Holtz |
| Catherine was anxiously waiting near the fire, waiting for her Vincent! She was growing impatient... looking at the clock and pondering what could be taking him so long! She had given him directions over 10 minutes ago... Directions to her bathroom, when suddenly she heard Vincent from the confines of the bathroom, clear his throat and ask, "Catherine have you any more toilet paper?" "Here Vincent, you'll have to open the door" Vincent said, "It's unlocked, but I can't reach it as I am in a bit of a 'situation' here...Catherine." Catherine replied, "I'll leave it at the door then Vincent" "Never mind, I will just use this catalog here like we do in the tunnels!" Catherine quickly said, "Oh no Vincent! Don't use..." Vincent shockingly said, "Catherine!! What IS this "stuff" you read?!!!" Stuttering a little Catherine embarrassingly said, "Wooooaa, Just a little porn Vincent...why?” "Eh...ummmmm...Catherine! WOW! Oh this stuff is so graphic Catherine... and you read it, I'm shocked." Catherine tries to hold her giggles in and says, "Well Vincent, one has to do something to get rid of ones “frustration” ! I wouldn't need those catalogues if...if...Oh you know what I am getting at, don't you?" Vincent answered, "Yes Catherine, I know, we might just have to do something about that then, can't have a frustrated lady on my hands now, can I?" "Vincent what's that noise?" "Catherine, what are all these buttons for on this toilet seat? And I just noticed this seat is warm too". "Oh Vincent, I forgot to tell you about that, it's one of those hi-tec toilets, I got it imported from Japan! You don't actually need toilet paper, as it gives you a wash and blow dry!" Catherine could hear the water swooshing and the dryer going and going and she wondered what Vincent could be taking so long doing? She stealthily peaked around the corner int the bathroom and gasped as she saw Vincent with his head in the toilet! She screeched, "Vincent you are not supposed to wash your hair in there!" He stood up startled by Catherine with his hair the wildest, fluffiest and fullest Catherine had ever seen it! As Catherine got over the initial shock of seeing Vincent with his head in the hi-tec toidy, she went into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, with tears streaming down her face. Once she had gotten control of herself she looked seductively at Vincent. "He looks so, so cute and innocent" she thought. "Oh Vincent, what am I going to do with you?" Catherine then thought, "I know what I'd LIKE to do with you!” "Catherine!" said Vincent in an astonished manner. "Your thoughts are wicked!" Catherine grinned as she gave Vincent the eye, "Yes, they are...aren't they?" Catherine then said, "Now get over here Vincent...don't be afraid!" Vincent walked over to Catherine not sure what she had in mind to do to him, She held out her hand, and smiled a passionate smile and said, here Vincent I can do it better for you if you are sitting down." Vincent walked toward his Catherine and sat down where she indicated, and as she nestled in close to him, she picked up her golden boar bristled brush, and said, "Let me see if I can work through those tangles for you!" "Ow...ouch! Catherine, that really hurt!” "I know, I'm sorry Vincent, well you would put your head down the toilet! I think we may have to put you in the shower and get some conditioner on that head.” Vincent stood and said, "What ever you say Catherine..." Catherine enforced, it is the only way Vincent." Let me show you where everything is...use this shampoo first, and then this conditioner. Just yell if you need any help..." "Oh, and there are plenty towels in the bathroom, just use as many as you need... I mean, you have a LOT of hair there.” A few minutes later Catherine heard a weird noise coming from the bathroom. She moved closer and put her ear to the door. She giggled as she heard Vincent "singing!" As Catherine listened intently at the bathroom door, suddenly there was a few seconds of silence, followed by the first words of a song Catherine hadn't heard in a long time. Vincent began to sing "Is this the real life?, Is this just fantasy?" Catherine couldn't believe what she was hearing, and thought "Surely this amazing man couldn't know all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody...could he?" Catherine rushed to her CD case to get her "A Night At The Opera" CD, and took out the booklet with all the words in it, as she herself didn't know all of them. She sat down outside the bathroom door, and followed the words as Vincent sang them all, word perfect, he never missed Gallileo! As he finished with the words, "Nothing really matters, anyone can see..nothing really matters..Nothing really matters to me... Catherine let out a smile as a tear rolled down her cheek. And she thought just how much she loved this intelligent, caring and adorable man of hers..."Anywhere the wind blows...." Suddenly she heard a thump...poor Vincent had slipped in the shower!!! When she called his name, he didn't answer her... she thought "Oh No!! I have to check on him to see if he is all right!!!" Catherine slowly stepped into the bathroom and saw Vincent lying on the floor just outside the shower door and called out his name again" Vincent...Vincent can you hear me?" Catherine quickly looked around and picked the largest towel she could find to cover Vincent. "Good job he is lying face down!" she thought. (Oh sure she did!) She heard a moan and got down on her knees to check on Vincent, and he looked at her and said, "what happened Catherine?" Catherine smoothed his hair from his eyes and said, " You must have slipped in the shower Vincent, Do you think that you are injured anywhere?" Vincent started to move and said, "No I don't think so Catherine..." Just then he started to stand up and Catherine said..."No don't stand up Vincent!!" Vincent blushed and said, "Of course not Catherine, I was not thinking! Pardon me, I forget that it is different in your world. You see after 10 : 00 O’clock in the Tunnels, it is transformed into a Nudist Colony where we all run free and unencumbered... Forgive me Catherine." Catherine could feel a blush rise from her neck and said "Really Vincent? Now I just can't picture Father making his way through the Tunnels flaunting his wares for all to see". Vincent tried to stifle his laughter, but it was no use, his body shook as his laughter over came him. Catherine collapsed on top of his back and said amusingly "Vincent Wells, you had me there!" As Vincent held Catherine's gaze he had a mischievous smile in his eyes that gave Catherine cause to ask... "You were joking weren't you Vincent?!!!! I mean that could not possibly be going on in the tunnels could it?! I mean a Tunnel Nudist Colony?!! With Mary, Mouse, Pascal, and Oh God forbid...William?! Vincent tipped his head back and silently laughed and said, "Yes Catherine...I was jesting." Amorously Catherine then said, "However you...you Vincent, I am sure would be a vision to behold.... You are so beautiful." Vincent, in a deep husky whisper passionately asked, "Catherine...how do you personally feel about running around naked?" Catherine looked at Vincent seductively through her bangs and said "Well I have on occasions closed the drapes and just sauntered about without a stitch on, it's wonderful! Makes me feel so 'free spirited' and is rather comfortable! Vincent looked invitingly into Catherine's eyes and said, "Catherine how would you feel about a 'saunter' at this very minute?" Catherine gasped in shock and said "Oh Vincent, I am sure I would never be able to control my desires if I were to end up running around here in the nude with you!" Vincent then said, "Nor could I Catherine...nor could I..." Vincent took his lovely Catherine's hand in his and said, 'It was merely a thought... a dream that we could really be that free with one another. However we must not lose sight of who I am..." Catherine lovingly said, "That is what I love about you Vincent, you are so proper, and I am finding very modest too. But you shouldn't be Vincent...if you only knew...impossible day-dreamily and said, "One day Catherine I do hope to be free of all the inhibitions that plague me" Catherine tipped her head and asked, "Vincent have you ever tried Hypnotism? I dabbled in it a little bit in college." Vincent asked, "Hypnotism Catherine? You mean to say that you could hypnotize me?" Catherine seductively said, "Oh yes I could, if you were receptive to it. So are you Vincent...receptive to it?" "Well I am not sure Catherine, I have never dabbled in such a thing. If it turned out I was receptive to it, wouldn't that mean I would not be able to remember anything? I mean you could do anything you like with me and I would be oblivious to it!" Catherine looked at Vincent with just a hint of mischief in her eyes and said "Believe me Vincent, you would remember everything!" Vincent could read his Catherine's desirous thoughts, but decided to say nothing and just play along for a while, thinking "Hmmm, this is going to get interesting..." Little did Catherine know that "twice" before Father and Peter had tried hypnotism on Vincent, but found that because of his unique chemistry, they found it "impossible! But of course Vincent wasn't going to let Catherine in on that little piece of information... "Okay Vincent! When shall we do it...the hypnotism that is?" Vincent heaved a heavy sigh, and said, "Catherine of course I am willing to try anything... there is no time like the present." Catherine tried to contain her excitement, as she said, "All right then Vincent, I will need you to lie down here on the couch, and relax... as Catherine slipped her necklace off that Vincent had given her, she sat on the coffee table aside of him, and said, "Just watch the crystal Vincent...watch the crystal" She then began the sway of the stone in motion, and as she looked down into Vincent's beautiful blue eyes, she saw him follow the stone, and then she softly said, "Your eyelids are getting heavy... it is difficult to keep them open Vincent...so heavy...so heavy." Vincent then said, "Yes they are Catherine, the crystal is mesmerizing, don't you think?" Catherine softly said, "Ssssssssshhhhhh Vincent...you shouldn't talk, just relax." As Vincent's words echoed in her mind, she looked at the swinging crystal too, and thought, "Yes...it is mesmerizing...and before another moment passed, Catherine had leaned forward on Vincent's chest sound asleep! Vincent raised an eyebrow and thought to himself, "Hmmm, now this is a predicament that every man dreams of being in!" With soft soothing voice he said, "Catherine with the snap of my fingers, you shall wake up refreshed, and respond amorously when the word "Shakespeare" is spoken. "Snap", Catherine awoke and said, "Vincent, I am so disappointed, it didn't work on you huh?" Vincent disappointedly said, "Afraid not Catherine...I should go, as Shakespeare once said, "Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good-bye till it be morrow." Catherine grabbed Vincent by his collar, and kissed him with a passion in a way that she had always dreamed of doing! As Vincent gathered himself, Catherine was getting ready to come back for seconds, when he snapped his fingers once more. Catherine shook her head, and said, "Vincent...what happened." Vincent guiltily said, "Catherine, I am afraid that you were the one hypnotized instead of me. Forgive me Catherine!" Catherine looked downward, to make sure that she was still dressed, and brought her hand to her lips, and said, "Vincent, what have I done?" Vincent led Catherine to the couch and as he told her to relax that he would bring her up and out of her trance, he lovingly said, "Nothing happened Catherine, that you would be ashamed of. You bestowed the sweetest of kisses on my lips, that demonstrated to me the passion that one day awaits us." Catherine softly said, "Ah Vincent, you don't have to bring me up out of my hypnotic trance yet...do you?" Vincent tipped his head, and said, "Well Dear Catherine, as Shakespeare once wrote... THE END. |
