Knowing his unsolicited testimonial had been over-heard by his son, the son who had been the recipient of his inadequate parenting, Jacob was thankful that Devin did not hold him solely at fault.
With so much already said between them, Jacob with great concern and emotion, asked, “How are you?”
With a nervous tremor to his voice, Devin nodded as he said, “I am good, I am good, and you? You’re looking well.”
To which Jacob answered, “Perhaps a bit older and grayer…”
And then Jacob warmly added, “….to your point though, I am well, but even better now, now you are home.”
As Devin looked back into his Father’s eyes, and when he saw the acceptance, and love shining there, he was able to let down his guard, and open his heart to say “I’ve missed you Father…”
Looking over now to Vincent, who had been humbly waiting for his moment, lifted his eyes when Devin said, “…and I’ve missed my brother.”
Devin then walked over to Vincent, who advanced to meet him half way. And so with an undying brotherly connection, they embraced, happy to be united once more.
And so with hope in his voice, Vincent asked, “Are you home for Christmas?”
As Devin looked over to his Father for approval, he answered, “If I am welcome.”
And so Jacob looked back at him, determined he would try to right the wrongs he had done as a father, with a tremble to his voice, replied, “This is your home, you have always been welcome. And if I failed to convey that to you through the years, well I mean to say, if that is the reason you stayed away, then Devin, I am sorry. As Vincent can tell you, and you heard me just say, if I were given the gift of redoing yesterday, I would do so many things different as your father.”
Tenderly Devin replied, “And I would too, as your son..."
Devin then thoughtfully continued, "Overhearing you just a minute ago, made me realize, that I never looked at things through your eyes before. I mean, I only felt badly for myself that my Mother died before I even met her. But I never saw MY loss as OUR loss...and here you were a man who lost his wife and left with a new baby to raise! I don't know how I would have dealt with that, I really don't! So Father, I want you to know, it wasn’t all you, it was me too, and for some reason, we both found it hard to communicate with one another."
Devin reinforced his point by saying, "Vincent knows, he can tell ya of how tongue tied
I’d be when talking to you as a kid, or of how I would say the wrong thing to tick you off."
Devin shook his head with wonder, and added, "Then later on, I would get so mad at myself, wondering why I kept saying, or doing these things to get ya mad at me.”
Meanwhile, Vincent stood silent, feeling like the proverbial middle man again, and feeling blessed at the same time, because he always had a strong relationship with both his Father, and brother. And it was because of this fact, he had always been the mediator in the family, so it wasn't surprising why it should it be any different now.
And so with the wisdom of a much beloved soul, who had gained intense insight into the inner workings of these two strong complex personalities through the years, Vincent, affectionately contended, “Christmas is a good time for hopeful beginnings. Perhaps it is time to let go of the painful past, yet at the same time, hold on to the dear memories which connect us to one another, enabling us to start anew.”
Vincent then put up his arms to encircle them both, and said, “Upon Devin’s homecoming, Father, our pleas had been answered. This is a second chance for us to be a family again.”
With hope Jacob looked from Vincent to Devin, and said, “There is nothing I want or wished for more.”
As an unexpected tear made its way down Devin’s cheek, he wiped it away and laughed as he said, “Oh man, look at me…”
But he wasn’t alone, as Jacob and Vincent wiped tears away as well, because of this wondrous occasion, which tugged at all their hearts, for it was Christmas and Devin had come home.
Jacob then in a fatherly manner said, “Well it is late, we better get some sleep shall we? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve! We have much to celebrate.”
Both of Jacob's sons hugged him good night, and said they’d see him in the morning. And so with their arms about each other’s shoulders, Vincent and Devin made their way into the tunnels.
Jacob wanting to take in the site of his two boys once more, hobbled to the threshold so he could watch them. And it warmed his heart to see these two brothers together again, walking down the tunnel main, with their arms about each other. And he loved to see they were talking non-stop, just like they did in their boyhood.
Jacob then smiled, and as he made his way back to his chair, he sat down and raising his eyes to heaven, he said a petition of thanks, for all the gratifying events which befell him today.
And then Jacob looked over at the artifact John relinquished to him, and he recounted, “My old friend has found his heart again, and Devin, my son has come home.”
Meantime, as the brothers made their way to Vincent’s chamber, Vincent answered Devin’s many questions, filling him in on all the current events of the tunnels, and he then told him more about Catherine.
Happy to hear about this wonderful woman in Vincent’s life, Devin revealed, “Peter told me she has made a huge difference around here, even touched the ole’ man’s heart.”
Upon hearing Devin mention Peter's name, curiously Vincent asked, “You’ve seen Peter?”
To which Devin explained, “Yeah, frankly Vincent, it was because of Peter, I found the courage to face both you and Father again.”
Surprised, yet not surprised Peter was behind helping to unite their disjointed family, Vincent warmly said, “Peter helps us in so many areas of our life here, and now to hear he aided our family in this way too, I am without words.”
Devin then optimistically said, “You know, I really do believe things will be different between me and Father this time. I promise I will try like hell on my part.”
As Vincent listened to his brother pledging his all to the relationship with their Father, Vincent revealed, “I believe the time is right, Father is ready to surrender his need for control, and ready to just be, and to let be.”
Just then they heard Pascal yell from behind, “Devin? Is that you?”
And so the brothers stopped in their tracks, and turned toward him. And when Devin saw it was his ole’ pal, he gleefully answered, “Hey Pascal! Yeah it’s me.”
Then both Vincent and Devin, with open arms, welcomed to include him.
As Pascal added to the tunnel gang reunion, they embraced, as he said, “Together again, The Vikings unite!”
Pascal then looked at Devin, and said, “Ahhh it’s good to see you! Are you home for Christmas?”
“I am here…” Devin then looked around and back at Pascal, and expressed, “…and it feels so good to be back home.”
With an emotional tone, Pascal warmly said, “We’ve missed you. Ahh, if only Winslow were here, then our motley crew would be complete.”
The loss of Winslow still pained their hearts, and they all agreed, his spirit would always be there within the tunnels, and his bravery would never be forgotten.
Lightening the mood, Pascal then asked Vincent, “Hey does Father know Devin's home?”
In reply Vincent said, “Yes, we just left him. He is very pleased.”
To which Pascal said, “No doubt! Hey what a great Christmas this is gonna be!”
With a nod, Vincent agreed, and then with curiosity, he asked Pascal what has taken him away from the pipe chamber at this hour.
To which with concern, Pascal answered, “Mouse thought he heard something on the lower quadrant pipe that runs through his chamber. I went to check it out, but I didn’t hear anything.”
Thoughtfully, Vincent mentioned, “That pipe goes past the Great Hall, beyond the mezzanine area pass.”
To which Pascal said, “Yeah, and I sent word to the sentry in that area to check it out, but he said there was nothing unusual going on around there, so who knows what it was. It may have been a rodant or something. Still…I will keep an ear out.”
As they prepared to part ways, Pascal and Devin expressed once more how good it was to see each other, and they would catch up tomorrow.
With a brotherly embrace, they said goodnight and headed on to Vincent’s chamber.
Devin then asked again, “You sure I’m not putting you out? I mean even though your bed is huge and all, I don't want to crowd you.”
To which Vincent replied, “I have room.”
And so the two settled into the chamber, and talked as if no time had passed, feeling comfortable with one another again.
As Devin took in the sight of the many keepsakes, and artifacts Vincent had about his chamber, he was taken back by the flood of memories some of the items brought back. A soft laugh escaped as he glanced at the old bust of King Tut, and onto a metal souvenir of the Empire State Building, then when he saw the old telephone, he said, “Remember how we tried to hook this up?”
With a smile in his eyes, Vincent nodded and recalled, “I believe we momentarily retrieved a dial tone…”
Laughing, Devin concurred, “That’s right! Then Pascal's Dad over heard us, and put a kibosh to it, saying this mode of communication was not for us! And he reminded us, that if we connected to somewhere, we could give away our locale. Ahh what a kill joy he was!”
Devin then walked over to a table to check out what Vincent was working on. And so with interest, he said, “Hmmm, stained glass depictions of Cupid and Psyche…did you make these?”
With a nod, Vincent said, “They are to be Catherine’s Christmas gift. Mouse is going to help me solder the framing for them in the morning, and then they shall be finished.”
As Devin looked over the fine craftsmanship, he incredulously noted, “This must have taken you a long time! The pieces are so intricate…”
And then thinking on the subject matter, he said, “And hey, nice touch! What a romantic premise! I mean Cupid and Psyche!”
Intently, Vincent commented, “They have a significant meaning for us, and I wanted to expand on their importance for Catherine’s gift.”
With awe, Devin looked at his brother, who he loved so very much, and thought on how the majority of his own life, he had spent feeling guilty for leaving him behind. He then thought of how ironic it was, Vincent was the one who had managed to find love, and happiness while within these sheltered tunnels, and he, “The Great Adventurer” was the one still floundering.
With a feeling of maybe a little self pity, Devin thought of what a hindranced handicap, his wounded heart had been for him. His whole life, still carrying the burden of old childhood issues.
Seeing the sadness within his brother’s eyes, Vincent asked, “Devin?”
Knowing he must be wearing his heart on his sleeve, he covered up the best he could, and said, “I am just so glad you have found your someone, and are happy. I couldn’t ask for more for my little brother.”
Vincent accepted his brother’s answer, and with a joyful embrace, he said he couldn’t wait for Devin to meet Catherine. And added it would be tomorrow night, because she will be coming with her Father, and Peter for Christmas Eve.
Humbly, Devin replied, “I’ll look forward to it.”
Devin then handled the old table juke box, and said, “Hey, I remember this!”
Devin laughed, as he read from the list of songs, “Don’t sit under the Apple Tree, Boogie Woogie Bugle boy, Some Enchanted Evening, Don’t fence me in, Zip a dee doo dah, this is classic! Oh man! Remember how we wished we could play any one of these songs, just to hear them.”
Vincent smiled as he thought back, and remembered too the magic music held for him as a boy. His only connection was the vent under the grandstand, the place he had taken Catherine.
And so in agreement to Devin’s comment he said, “Yes, we could only imagine those melodies from that musical catalog, and our imaginations had no limits, they took us everywhere, we had so many plans.”
Vincent’s last comment, touched a nerve, because Devin’s heart still harvested so much regret from the past. And so he humbly looked at Vincent as he asked, “Do you forgive me for, for you know, leaving, leaving you behi.....”
Too painful for Devin to say himself, Vincent stepped up to him, and finished the sentence for him and said, “For leaving me behind?”
Sadly, Devin looked downward as he nodded; waiting to hear Vincent's answer to the question, he was too ashamed to ask.
And so in his huskilated voice, Vincent replied, “There is nothing to forgive Devin. When you left home, I knew in my heart, leaving here could never be an option for me. But because of our scheming about numerous rousing adventures, well, those images gave me so much, and in my dreams, I did go everywhere with you.”
Vincent then went on to give his brother one more gift of acknowledgment by saying, “If not for you giving me the courage to dream, I would not know Catherine, you have given me more than you shall ever know or understand.”
With relief and ebbing emotion, Devin, embraced his brother, feeling so thankful Vincent did not resent him in anyway.
And then, with emotion, Devin said, “You’ll never know how much I wanted to take you, but I knew Father would have killed me if anything would’ve happened to you.”
Devin then thoughtfully admitted, “I never meant to be gone for very long. The days stretched out into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. Before I knew it, it became too difficult to face Father, and you.”
Warmly, Vincent replied, “You are home now, and that is what matters.”
In reply, Devin said, "Yes, I am home now, and it feels great!"
After an exchange of a few yawns, the two knew it was time for sleep, and feeling the contentment of connecting with someone who really knows you, they said goodnight.
With only the night candle burning, they laid there in the darkness, with their own private thoughts. Vincent, knowingly felt as if the missing piece of his heart, which was ripped out when Devin left home, had healed. And he was at complete peace now, and could drift off to sleep, as all was right in his world.
And Devin, as he looked over at his unique brother, thought of what a wonderful man Vincent had become. He had defied all the odds, and has made a fulfilling life for himself.
As he tearfully looked upward to the ceiling, he felt such liberation, that Vincent did not resent him, and with the banishment of all past regret, he vowed not to give in to self pity or blame.
It could be just as Vincent said; Christmas was a good time for new beginnings. And as Devin closed his eyes, he too was able to drift off into a peaceful sleep, knowing the time had come for grace and forgiveness on all their hearts.
To be continued
Chapter Nineteen
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| Destiny of my Heart! By Sharon Holtz Chapter Eighteen _________________________________________ |
