Captor of my Heart! By Sharon Holtz Chapter Seven ___________________________
As Vincent then stood silent, Catherine couldn't help but feel as though something was wrong, and so she asked him, "Vincent what is it?"
Vincent's voice turned solemn as he carefully, said, "I have come to the realization, about some things..."
And though neither one spoke openly about their feelings thus far, they both sensed they had formed a bond...a heartfelt connection...
However since Vincent was harboring this secret of who he was, he knew Catherine's feelings were not based on reality...their reality...
And so Vincent continued, "...I never should have asked you to dance with me tonight."
Wondering what Vincent meant by this, with concern, Catherine asked, "But why?"
In reply, Vincent sadly said, "I had no right..."
Vincent's words sent Catherine's world crashing! She had let her guard down here tonight, in a way that was so uncharacteristic of her, allowing her self to be carried away by this...this apparent phoney, as the first reason to cross her mind was Vincent must be married!
And although she was afraid of his answer, she had to ask, "Why do you say you had no right? Vincent...are...are you married?"
Thoughtfully, Vincent then huskily whispered, "No Catherine...nothing like that...its something else..."
And so to at least offer her something, Vincent brought his hand to his heart, and painfully said, “In meeting you, I forgot who I am. And its because of who I am, that I cannot offer you any more than the here, and now. Brigit's writings have taught me the present is all we really have..."
Vincent then continued, "However, I realize actually living that way, for me...it is deceitful and unfair to others...to you...and for this reason...this must be goodbye..."
Finding it hard to continue, he then turned his back and agonizingly looked upward as if searching for guidance from the Heavens on what to say.
Unsure of what to think, Catherine felt sad, angry, forsaken and foolish all at once! But if Vincent wasn't married, she wondered what else could be the reason for him to say he was deceiving her. She had a few ideas, maybe he was part of some religious order, or maybe...it was then that a dreaded thought crossed Catherine's mind...what if he had a terminal illness of some sort...
And if he did, Catherine wanted to know...because she couldn't deny this connection she knew they had.
Meanwhile, Vincent contemplated telling Catherine everything...but what would she say? How would she respond? Would it frighten her?
But before Vincent said anything more, he realized this may be his only chance to see Catherine, unfettered from her feathered owl disguise.
And so impulsively, he brought his hand to the ribbons on her mask, and asked, "May I?"
And though Catherine would have said yes, Vincent did not wait for an answer. And as he untied the silken bow, the mask fell away revealing her beauty. Leaving Vincent to breathlessly whisper, "Beautiful..."
Mesmerized by how beautiful she was, Vincent upon coming to his senses, rationalized, it seemed even more impossible to reveal himself to her now, wondering how could this beautiful woman ever accept him?
And so there, Vincent stood, in all of his dark despair, for what seemed like forever, waiting for the inevitable, expecting Catherine would now ask for his unmasking as well.
And when she didn't, Vincent with pause, asked, "You must be wondering about me."
Softly Catherine answered, "I see the man you are reflected in your eyes Vincent, I don't need any further revelations."
These words from Catherine brought both elation, and guilt. Elation that Catherine did not care what he looked like, and guilty for his own request he had just made of her.
And so it was then Vincent knew he would tell Catherine everything. And so with hope, Vincent offered, "I believe you when you say this to me...and so I will disclose everything to you...if you still want to hear it..."
As Catherine remained receptive to Vincent, fearing the secret he was harboring, may mean he would need her all the more, with conviction, Catherine replied, "Yes, I want to know everything Vincent...please tell me."
With a resigning nod, Vincent painfully said, "The things I will tell you...involves the safety of others. People I live with, people I love."
Vincent then thoughtfully continued, "And, I am not sure if I can find the words to reveal myself without frightening you."
Although Catherine could not imagine what Vincent was about to tell her, she wanted to assure him he could confide in her, and so she told him, "I felt your heart speaking to mine from across the room tonight before we even met, so because of this closeness, I assure you, I will not betray your trust. So Vincent trust me, trust me enough to somehow find the words."
As Vincent did know Catherine's feelings mirrored his own, he humbly looked downward, and repeated the single word she had just challenged him with. "Trust" Maybe it did all boil down to that after all.
And so he looked into Catherine's eyes, and without any more hesitation, he revealed, "What I must tell you concerns my appearance Catherine, this is not a mask, or a disguise I am bearing..."
Woefully he then looked downward at his hands, and continued, "...and these hands...are my hands, they are what you see."
Yes, its true, all his life, Vincent has had to deal with people's reactions to his appearance, but never before, did he have to await the reaction from the woman he loved. And so Vincent did not look away, as he waited for Catherine's reaction.
But Catherine never looked away either, as she asked, "How can this be? How did this happen to you?"
To which Vincent searchingly answered, "I don't think I will ever know. I was born, and I lived."
With compassion, Catherine began to ask, "But, how can..."
As she became overwhelmed with emotion, Catherine could not finish her question. She found herself crying tears of relief that Vincent was not terminally ill, and sorrowful tears for his plight.
Vincent hesitated a moment, before he softly said, "I know you must have many questions."
Catherine finally looked up at Vincent, and smiled through her tears, as she said, "I do, and I don't want to diminish what you have revealed to me, but I have to tell you, Vincent, I am so relieved."
With a questioning look Vincent asked, "Relieved Catherine?"
Catherine laughed as she cried saying, "Yes, I was so afraid you were going to tell me you had a fatal illness or that you were a Monk or something."
Vincent looked at Catherine in wonder, as he asked, "Oh Catherine, you can't really mean you are relieved my appearance is so different from yours?"
To which Catherine sweetly reached up to touch his face, and intimately said, "Perhaps here we are different...but not in our hearts..."
Vincent looked down on Catherine, and tenderly pulled her close to rest his head upon hers.
As they stood holding one another, they both knew they had found their other. And without a word, their closeness was filled with a loving conviction, to convey the physical differences between them, didn't matter.
Vincent then huskily whispered, “I have been caught off guard tonight, although my initial intent of venturing out this Hallows Eve was that of which brought me here, I know now...I was set upon this course for another reason, so my path would cross with yours."
Sweetly Catherine assuredly replied, "I suppose we both were caught off guard...neither one of us could have known what this night had in store for us."
To which Vincent pensively said, "Yes...I never could have known that tonight, I would trust asking someone to accept who I am...asking you."
With an impassioned tone, Catherine replied, "For me...there is no other choice..."
She then went on to share, "...when you said goodbye, and I thought I wouldn't see you again...well....though I don't have your talent to recite poetry as beautifully as you do, still there is a poem I love that expresses a bit of what I am trying to say..."
And so feeling a bit self conscious, Catherine recited:
I stood forlorn Knowing my heart's treasure was no more That neither present time nor years unborn Could to my sight that heavenly face restore
As Vincent heard Catherine recite one of his favorite verses, with adoration, he said, "You are wrong Catherine, for you have recited Wordsworth's "Surprised by Joy." beautifully..."
Vincent then went on to share, "When I first read that poem many years ago, it was the very line you just recited, that captured my heart so."
With an ironic thoughtfulness, he continued, "It must have been years since I last read it, but coincidentally, I had re-read this poem just today. Its rather serendipitous for you to recite from it tonight as well, don't you think?"
Agreeing that it was a rather odd coincidence, Catherine softly replied, "Yes."
Suddenly it dawned on Catherine, why the words Vincent earlier recited seemed familiar, and she realized it was because they were also by Wordsworth!
So excitedly, Catherine, in a form of a statement, questioned, "The verse you recited earlier, they were from Wordswoth's poem "A Night-Piece" weren't they?"
Vincent looked at Catherine, feeling very impressed she knew the poem, and answered, "Yes, it was."
Catherine, in disbelief, began to contemplate the coincidences surrounding Wordsworth today!
To which she then said, "I have to tell you...yesterday, I wouldn't have recognized it, but just today, I read this poem, right after I had picked up Wordsworth from Mr. S....."
And as Catherine and Vincent were coming close to unraveling the mysterious tie they owned through Wordsworth, Harold came out onto the Terrace, and asked, "Are you Vincent by any chance?"
To which Vincent cautiously said, "Yes I am."
Happily, their host expounded, "Oh Wonderful! Brigit would've killed me if I hadn't given this to you. I have been asking everyone here at the party if they were either you, or knew you."
He then handed Vincent an envelope and said, "Brigit sent this telegram specifically to you. Well, I apologize for the interruption. Have a good evening."
Vincent looked at his name on the envelope, and recognized Brigit's handwriting at once, and knew it was a personal note from her.
In disbelief, Catherine excitedly asked, "This is a telegram from Brigit O'Donnell? THE Brigit O'Donnell?"
Privately pondering the contents, he turned to Catherine and with a smile in his eyes, he answered, "Yes, so it appears."
Since Catherine did not know Vincent's history with the author, Catherine anxiously asked, "And this telegram is to YOU and just YOU? I mean it isn't a mass message to all of the guests like the other telegram was?"
With a tip of his head, Vincent humbly said, "No, not a mass message...it is addressed directly to me."
Over come with excitement, Catherine said, "Imagine Brigit sending you a personal telegram!"
And then because Vincent had not yet read the telegram, Catherine asked, "Aren't you curious of what she has to say."
And so as he carefully lifted the envelopes flap, with a controlled excitement, he confessed, "I am..."