As she walked back to Rebecca’s chamber, Catherine contemplated all that had happened tonight, and though she would’t hurt Vincent for the world, she did’t think he needed to get upset over her talking to Ronald.
Perhaps to Vincent, Ronald was an imposing figure, from the aspect of his looks. His impressive size, and he was quite striking with his dark sculpted features, he inherited from his Indian heritage. His long dark hair flowed freely down his back, and all the hard work in the tunnels left his waist chiseled like Vincent’s, and arms well muscled too. But it wans’t any of these things that threatened Vincent, it was the connection Ronald and Catherine shared. A connection with the outside world, which Vincent could not compete against.
Catherine never would have guessed Vincent would have reacted in such a way, and thought this could be a real problem. She very much enjoyed people, and loved talking to others. And she wondered how it could be possible for Vincent to ever feel threatened, when she loved him so completely.
Catherine knew this issue would have to be addressed, so it could be nipped in the bud, before it becomes too huge a deal to solve.
As she entered Rebecca’s chamber, she hoped and prayed Vincent would be there to visit her after his meeting, and they could talk all of this out. But since he was not there, she decided to go to him in his chamber. As she greeted him, she said, “Hello Vincent. You are back from your meeting.”
Sitting at his writing table, with his head sorrowfully bent, he asked, “Where were you?”
Ready to answer, she thought twice, and reluctantly stopped herself. She couldn't help but wonder, after the way he acted earlier, how would he accept all she would tell him about her visit with Ronald.
Though knowing truth, was her only option, she dove in, come what may, and told him, “I went to the Guest Chamber, I was feeling badly how we left each other after supper, and I went there to think, and feel close to Dad.”
Vincent raised his eyes as he said, “But you were not alone.”
Catherine replied, “No I was’t, Ronald too went there for the same reason. He told me he is able to feel close to his family there too. But it wans’t planned Vincent.”
Vincent turned his back to Catherine, and as he leaned against the table, he gathered his thoughts, wanting to gain control over his jealousies.
Lovingly, Catherine approached him, after seeing tears falling from his eyes, and carefully asked him, “I can’t understand why my talking to Ronald upsets you so much. Please tell me.”
Vincent shook his head, and through his anguished voice, said, “I was so fearful this would happen.”
Catherine felt so helpless as she said, “Vincent, nothing has happened between Ronald and I!”
Vincent stood up and paced, as his anger mounted against himself, and he tried to tell Catherine what he meant. Attempting to explain, he said, “This has to do with me! My obsessive nature that takes over, makes it difficult for me to control my jealousies! I was so terrified as you and I possessed more and more of each other, this part of my nature would gain strength. Catherine, I cannot seem to help myself, I want to possess ALL of you so badly! I cannot tolerate when other’s such as Ronald are close to you!”
Catherine cried defenseless tears, and told him, “He is just a nice man, who is so very sad. I merely shared some of the things you had taught me with him! And that’s all there was to it!”
Vincent looked down as he asked sadly, “Are words all you shared with Ronald Catherine?”
Catherine knew their bond made it impossible to shield anything from Vincent.
Quietly she conceded, “No, we did share an embrace, but it was only to comfort him Vincent, believe me. I only wanted to comfort this man who has known so much tragedy. Why should you make me feel badly for being a friend to him.”
As Catherine sobbed, Vincent looked helplessly at Catherine, as he told her, “I am not proud of these feelings Catherine. I abhor you are witness to them. And I detest I own such powerful fears of losing you.”
As Catherine wept she tried to hold him, but Vincent felt so ashamed he pulled away, and as he headed for the chamber's entrance, he lamented, “I should go.”
Catherine pleaded with him, saying, “Don’t leave me like this.”
Vincent stopped just as he was about to exit and turned his head to look back, and waited for Catherine to come and assure him once more.
Catherine turned him around and looked up into his anguished eyes as she told him, “Don’t you know you could never lose me.”
Vincent looked at Catherine pleadingly as he asked, “Forgive me Catherine.”
Catherine then hugged Vincent tightly as she buried her tear laden face in his chest. Her sobbing robbed Vincent of any happiness he previously had that day, and he could not have felt worse for making Catherine cry!
Softly he said, “Don’t cry.”
Vincent soothed the tears from her cheeks, and she in turn dried his. Vincent closed his eyes as he took in the scent of her hair, and then whispered, “I know it is wrong to resent your friendship with Ronald.”
Catherine then expressed, “I am so scared, I don't know what to do. I must question the wisdom of my moving here. I have only been here one full day, and look at us. All I know is I cannot survive living away from you, and I don’t know if you will survive my living near you.”
Vincent turned Catherine’s face to look into her eyes, and assured her, “I know what you should do, your place is here with me.”
Catherine looked at Vincent, and wondered how she is supposed to resolve this problem. And so she asked him, “Are you really so sure? I want to live with you in your world, and be a part of this community too. Which means, I will be talking to everyone here, people I consider to be my friends now.”
Shamefully, Vincent lowered his eyes, before assuring Catherine, “I don’t want to drive you away with my insecurities, and possessiveness.”
As Vincent wrestled with his thoughts and searched his heart, he shook his head in despair as he said, “If you were to leave me Catherine, and withdraw your love from me, I don’t know how I could go on.”
Catherine’s heart went out to Vincent for having these feelings so deeply rooted inside, that they were so very hard to touch, and to change. But because she loved him so intensely, she would make him believe the truth. The truth being nothing will separate, or come between them ever again.
Catherine looked at Vincent as she touched his face so tenderly and said, “If ever I withdrew my love, it would be only so that I could give it to you again.”
Catherine looked into his beautiful blue eyes, and with a smile, she told him, “You must know how much you are loved.”
To which Vincent whispered, “I do feel your care within my heart, and there too with in the deepest part of my soul.”
Catherine hesitated a moment as she nestled deeper into his embrace and with her lips to his ear, she softly told him in a passionate whisper, “Maybe these insecure feelings will go away once we truly are together.”
Vincent’s vision was blurred as Catherine spoke these words, vision of both his mind and heart. Feeling her warm whispering breath, seemed to cloud his whole being. He let his thoughts be guided by his want of her, even though he knew such closeness, was against any earlier rationalizations. After all, Catherine has not even moved below yet to know if life here with him will suit her. As he thought of her welfare, he knew the timing was too soon to rush into any thing. And so with an uneven breath, he whispered “When it is time.”
Catherine with an awe to her tone, repeated, "When it is time.”
Vincent looked downward, and guiltily admitted, “But I have hurt you tonight, that never should have happened.”
Catherine replied, “I guess we are a work in progress. I am working on understanding my feelings about you and Lisa. I suppose how I felt about Lisa is not any different from how you maybe felt about Ronald.”
Gently disagreeing, he pointed out to her, his feelings were totally unwarranted. Seeing what he said was true, Catherine was happy he knew it too. And told him, she knew he didn't set out to hurt her or anyone tonight, but would have to find a way to be more open to her other friendships.
Vincent loved how Catherine always made him feel at ease. She always seemed to understand his jumble of emotions he harbored deep inside of his heart. He then stayed thoughtful before saying how insightful and kind she was.
Looking heavenward, Vincent then sighed as he held Catherine, causing her to ask, “What is it?”
Vincent looked down into Catherine’s loving eyes, and told her, "Our dream is becoming our reality isn't it?”
In soft reply, Catherine said, “Yes. As long as we both share it, and never stop trying and hoping, we will one day, make it all come true.”
Thoughtfully Vincent pondered, and knew what Catherine said was true. And so with one last embrace, they decided perhaps it was time to call it a night. And so they left Vincent’s chamber, knowing they were as one in their hearts.
To be continued
Chapter Fourteen
Perhaps to Vincent, Ronald was an imposing figure, from the aspect of his looks. His impressive size, and he was quite striking with his dark sculpted features, he inherited from his Indian heritage. His long dark hair flowed freely down his back, and all the hard work in the tunnels left his waist chiseled like Vincent’s, and arms well muscled too. But it wans’t any of these things that threatened Vincent, it was the connection Ronald and Catherine shared. A connection with the outside world, which Vincent could not compete against.
Catherine never would have guessed Vincent would have reacted in such a way, and thought this could be a real problem. She very much enjoyed people, and loved talking to others. And she wondered how it could be possible for Vincent to ever feel threatened, when she loved him so completely.
Catherine knew this issue would have to be addressed, so it could be nipped in the bud, before it becomes too huge a deal to solve.
As she entered Rebecca’s chamber, she hoped and prayed Vincent would be there to visit her after his meeting, and they could talk all of this out. But since he was not there, she decided to go to him in his chamber. As she greeted him, she said, “Hello Vincent. You are back from your meeting.”
Sitting at his writing table, with his head sorrowfully bent, he asked, “Where were you?”
Ready to answer, she thought twice, and reluctantly stopped herself. She couldn't help but wonder, after the way he acted earlier, how would he accept all she would tell him about her visit with Ronald.
Though knowing truth, was her only option, she dove in, come what may, and told him, “I went to the Guest Chamber, I was feeling badly how we left each other after supper, and I went there to think, and feel close to Dad.”
Vincent raised his eyes as he said, “But you were not alone.”
Catherine replied, “No I was’t, Ronald too went there for the same reason. He told me he is able to feel close to his family there too. But it wans’t planned Vincent.”
Vincent turned his back to Catherine, and as he leaned against the table, he gathered his thoughts, wanting to gain control over his jealousies.
Lovingly, Catherine approached him, after seeing tears falling from his eyes, and carefully asked him, “I can’t understand why my talking to Ronald upsets you so much. Please tell me.”
Vincent shook his head, and through his anguished voice, said, “I was so fearful this would happen.”
Catherine felt so helpless as she said, “Vincent, nothing has happened between Ronald and I!”
Vincent stood up and paced, as his anger mounted against himself, and he tried to tell Catherine what he meant. Attempting to explain, he said, “This has to do with me! My obsessive nature that takes over, makes it difficult for me to control my jealousies! I was so terrified as you and I possessed more and more of each other, this part of my nature would gain strength. Catherine, I cannot seem to help myself, I want to possess ALL of you so badly! I cannot tolerate when other’s such as Ronald are close to you!”
Catherine cried defenseless tears, and told him, “He is just a nice man, who is so very sad. I merely shared some of the things you had taught me with him! And that’s all there was to it!”
Vincent looked down as he asked sadly, “Are words all you shared with Ronald Catherine?”
Catherine knew their bond made it impossible to shield anything from Vincent.
Quietly she conceded, “No, we did share an embrace, but it was only to comfort him Vincent, believe me. I only wanted to comfort this man who has known so much tragedy. Why should you make me feel badly for being a friend to him.”
As Catherine sobbed, Vincent looked helplessly at Catherine, as he told her, “I am not proud of these feelings Catherine. I abhor you are witness to them. And I detest I own such powerful fears of losing you.”
As Catherine wept she tried to hold him, but Vincent felt so ashamed he pulled away, and as he headed for the chamber's entrance, he lamented, “I should go.”
Catherine pleaded with him, saying, “Don’t leave me like this.”
Vincent stopped just as he was about to exit and turned his head to look back, and waited for Catherine to come and assure him once more.
Catherine turned him around and looked up into his anguished eyes as she told him, “Don’t you know you could never lose me.”
Vincent looked at Catherine pleadingly as he asked, “Forgive me Catherine.”
Catherine then hugged Vincent tightly as she buried her tear laden face in his chest. Her sobbing robbed Vincent of any happiness he previously had that day, and he could not have felt worse for making Catherine cry!
Softly he said, “Don’t cry.”
Vincent soothed the tears from her cheeks, and she in turn dried his. Vincent closed his eyes as he took in the scent of her hair, and then whispered, “I know it is wrong to resent your friendship with Ronald.”
Catherine then expressed, “I am so scared, I don't know what to do. I must question the wisdom of my moving here. I have only been here one full day, and look at us. All I know is I cannot survive living away from you, and I don’t know if you will survive my living near you.”
Vincent turned Catherine’s face to look into her eyes, and assured her, “I know what you should do, your place is here with me.”
Catherine looked at Vincent, and wondered how she is supposed to resolve this problem. And so she asked him, “Are you really so sure? I want to live with you in your world, and be a part of this community too. Which means, I will be talking to everyone here, people I consider to be my friends now.”
Shamefully, Vincent lowered his eyes, before assuring Catherine, “I don’t want to drive you away with my insecurities, and possessiveness.”
As Vincent wrestled with his thoughts and searched his heart, he shook his head in despair as he said, “If you were to leave me Catherine, and withdraw your love from me, I don’t know how I could go on.”
Catherine’s heart went out to Vincent for having these feelings so deeply rooted inside, that they were so very hard to touch, and to change. But because she loved him so intensely, she would make him believe the truth. The truth being nothing will separate, or come between them ever again.
Catherine looked at Vincent as she touched his face so tenderly and said, “If ever I withdrew my love, it would be only so that I could give it to you again.”
Catherine looked into his beautiful blue eyes, and with a smile, she told him, “You must know how much you are loved.”
To which Vincent whispered, “I do feel your care within my heart, and there too with in the deepest part of my soul.”
Catherine hesitated a moment as she nestled deeper into his embrace and with her lips to his ear, she softly told him in a passionate whisper, “Maybe these insecure feelings will go away once we truly are together.”
Vincent’s vision was blurred as Catherine spoke these words, vision of both his mind and heart. Feeling her warm whispering breath, seemed to cloud his whole being. He let his thoughts be guided by his want of her, even though he knew such closeness, was against any earlier rationalizations. After all, Catherine has not even moved below yet to know if life here with him will suit her. As he thought of her welfare, he knew the timing was too soon to rush into any thing. And so with an uneven breath, he whispered “When it is time.”
Catherine with an awe to her tone, repeated, "When it is time.”
Vincent looked downward, and guiltily admitted, “But I have hurt you tonight, that never should have happened.”
Catherine replied, “I guess we are a work in progress. I am working on understanding my feelings about you and Lisa. I suppose how I felt about Lisa is not any different from how you maybe felt about Ronald.”
Gently disagreeing, he pointed out to her, his feelings were totally unwarranted. Seeing what he said was true, Catherine was happy he knew it too. And told him, she knew he didn't set out to hurt her or anyone tonight, but would have to find a way to be more open to her other friendships.
Vincent loved how Catherine always made him feel at ease. She always seemed to understand his jumble of emotions he harbored deep inside of his heart. He then stayed thoughtful before saying how insightful and kind she was.
Looking heavenward, Vincent then sighed as he held Catherine, causing her to ask, “What is it?”
Vincent looked down into Catherine’s loving eyes, and told her, "Our dream is becoming our reality isn't it?”
In soft reply, Catherine said, “Yes. As long as we both share it, and never stop trying and hoping, we will one day, make it all come true.”
Thoughtfully Vincent pondered, and knew what Catherine said was true. And so with one last embrace, they decided perhaps it was time to call it a night. And so they left Vincent’s chamber, knowing they were as one in their hearts.
To be continued
Chapter Fourteen
| All of My Life! By Sharon Holtz Chapter Thirteen |
