Excitedly, Catherine told Vincent, "When you come see me tonight, I'll show you the varnish, I had picked up to re-finish your desk, and tell me if you approve."
Vincent was deep in thought, because he had sensed something earlier in the day emanating from Catherine, something that disrupted her calm. He had a suspicion of what had caused it, and he dreaded to ask, still he could not help himself, so he inquired, "Did something happen today, something which caused to sadden you?"
Catherine hesitated a moment before she answered, because she wondered what could have been the source of the sadness Vincent had picked up on! Was it the sadness she experienced when she saw Joe, or when she had talked with Elliot?
She had decided earlier, not to concern Vincent with the fact she had seen Elliot. She was afraid it would cause him unwarranted jealousy, because...though she felt many things toward Elliot, love was not one of them.
So Catherine answered Vincent honestly, and perhaps a bit guiltily too, as she said, "Yes, it was sad to see Joe, I miss him. But I promised him I would keep in touch, and I will just have to make a point to do that. I have seen so many relationships, and friendships go by the wayside, because people just don't try hard enough to..."
Gently, he cut in, asking, "Catherine...it seemed like a different sort of sadness, set apart from what one would feel... merely by missing a friend. There was a feeling of grief, and a sense of guilty regret as well."
Catherine lowered her eyes before she answered, and when she spoke, her voice shook nervously as she confessed, "I also saw Elliot today...at Harvey's."
He too lowered his eyes, wondering why Catherine had not told him about Elliot at the start, but rather, as a secondary issue. Softly Vincent answered, "I see."
Compassionately, she explained, "I wasn't going to mention it, because I didn't want to concern you."
Vincent slowly stood, and he looked up toward the silenced grating, where the music had filtered down through to them, and he contemplated Catherine's reply.
After a short silence, he sadly said, "I sensed you had been with Elliot, Catherine..."
Vincent then turned to look down at her, and with a knowing look in his eyes he said, "Somehow I knew..."
Tearfully, Catherine asked, "Please tell me you understand why I didn't want to bring up his name Vincent."
Flatly, Vincent answered, "I am trying to understand Catherine."
She then thought to herself, she had nothing to be ashamed of, and she was beginning to feel a little miffed too! She was upset Vincent was making such an issue of this.
So slowly Catherine lowered her arms in retreat, and said, "If you are going to be upset with me...perhaps I should go."
Vincent turned only his head, as he said, "Yes Catherine, it is getting late."
Catherine was afraid that this was going to happen, and it did! Vincent and his insecurities, where other men are concerned is a real problem for them. She slipped her shoes on, and softly said, "Goodnight Vincent."
Catherine felt terrible she had so badly mishandled telling Vincent about seeing Elliot. Now her feelings began to shift. Instead of feeling miffed, she started to feel responsible. Perhaps in Vincent's eyes...it does look as if she has something to hide.
So conceding that fact to Vincent, as Catherine walked away, she apologetically added, "I am sorry I didn't tell you right away Vincent."
Catherine continued to walk brokenheartedly toward the threshold, feeling certain she would not be receiving a reply from Vincent right away. She knew he usually needed time to resolve these issues in his heart, and in his mind.
Looking upward once again, he struggled with his emotions, as he breathlessly said, "I do understand Catherine."
Turning toward Vincent, she hopefully asked, "You do Vincent?"
Humbly, he looked at Catherine, and said, "I realize your past experience with the darkened jealous side of my nature, garnered your silence."
Explaining further, "I am trying to alter that side of my love for you Catherine."
From where Catherine stood, she softly said, "I know Vincent...and I am so proud of you."
She then tried to explain her mixed feelings about Elliot, by saying, "I suppose I didn't tell you about seeing Elliot at the start, because I do feel guilty and responsible for him losing so much monetarily, and...I know he loved me...in his own way."
Vincent took in Catherine's beauty, and with a tone of wonder in his voice, he said, "How could he not love you Catherine..."
He then walked the few steps toward her, and with an irresistible look in his eyes he asked, "Shall I still meet you?"
With a tear running down her cheek, she said, "I will be waiting."
As soon as she entered her apartment, Catherine lit the candles, and stepping outside on her balcony, she then lit the dozen or so candles out there too. She wanted the ambiance to be perfect before Vincent came to her, on...their last night on their balcony.
Looking all around, she thought of how this had been a great apartment...rather...a great home for her, and she really made it her own. She really loved it there, and nostalgically, she thought back to when she had moved in. It was right after she and Steven had broken up, and she had just received her law degree.
Her Dad of course, wanted her to move back home for just a little while, until she established a foothold on life. However Catherine was ready to be on her own, and lovingly cut the old apron strings!
She felt young and free, and wide open to the world and open to any, and every possibility. Coming out of a bad relationship does that for you...frees you up inside, and makes you feel like you want to do everything!
Catherine smiled to herself, thinking of all the perspective love matches she had gone through! Oh my...yes, throughout these past five years, Catherine had dated many young hot shot attorney's, and a nice assortment of professional men, not to mention the numerous interns Peter would try to match her up with, but none of them swept her off her feet. She was beginning to think it was never going to happen, and it was just a girlish dream...a feeling you really only read about....but then she met Vincent.
Vincent DID sweep her off her feet, and freed her too, freed her to believe happiness was possible in this life, and that not everything that is possible...has to be practical. And through Vincent, she also found out, sometimes, you must throw caution to the wind, and follow your heart.
How she had changed since she moved in here five years ago, and now...she was ready to move on again.
When Vincent arrived, she was looking out over her balcony wall, watching the busy city below.
Thoughtfully, he stood for a moment, before he softly said, "Catherine..."
Turning toward him, she smiled, as she thought how handsome he looked in the candlelight.
A melancholy then settled over her, as she thought of how much she would miss sharing this enchanted spot with him. Their balcony, that was so private, and hidden from the rest of the world in the city above, where Vincent could come to her.
Softly Catherine said, "I will never forget the first time you came to me here. Do you remember? It was so long after I came back above to heal after the attack."
Vincent nodded and said, "Yes Catherine I remember, I had brought you "Great Expectations."
She then asked a question of Vincent, she had always longed to ask him. Inquisitively, she inquired, "Vincent why did you wait so long? It had been eight months."
Reluctantly, he then confessed, he had been there often during that span of time to check on her, wanting to make certain she was well.
Knitting her brow together, she sadly asked, "Why didn't you make yourself known to me Vincent? You must have sensed how much I longed to see you again."
He nodded and said, "You were not ready...I had to make certain you were strong enough, and sufficiently self reliant."
Thoughtfully, he continued, "I knew you had the strength Catherine, and you needed to find it, from within, on your own. My presence too soon, would have hindered your journey."
Resignedly, Catherine nodded, knowing Vincent was right. Thinking about how her Dad had treated her after the attack, as if she were so fragile. He really didn't know how to help her, as he himself, was devastated by the whole incident too! Charles tended to treat her as if she were a little girl again.
So, instead of reverting weakly back to a sheltered life, she chose to find and make her own way forward, by herself.
Catherine nestled into Vincent's arms and said, "You are a very wise man Vincent. I am sure you were right to wait, even though I didn't know it then."
Softly, he assured her, "I was near by, if you would have truly needed me Catherine."
Flirtatiously, she smiled, and said, "Well, I am happy you did finally come to see me on that beautiful night."
Hesitating a moment before he admitted, "That night Catherine...I still felt unsure the time had come for us to be reunited."
In wonderment, she stated, "Still...you did come..."
Gingerly, he reminded Catherine, by saying, "On that night...I only planned on leaving you a gift..."
Thinking back, Catherine recollected the chain of events, and how they unfolded. To which she then stated, "I only came out because I had heard something..."
Feeling a bit badly, admitting he was discovered, instead of intentionally visiting, he shyly relayed, "I didn't mean to frighten you Catherine."
Sweetly, she assured him, "Once I saw and recognized the book, I wasn't frightened Vincent...just happy you had come to me at last..."
To be continued
Chapter Six
| A Dream Within a Dream! By Sharon Holtz Chapter Five |
